I always have thought my life was pretty normal and boring….and then I began working in the corporate world and wow was I wrong. I work with like I like to call Holly Hobbies. I am not sure if any of you remember these dolls or even care what they were, but they were the most generic boring dolls dressed in what should be classified as Amish Attire. WAIT…don’t leave my blog already…I promise it is not going to be about these Holly Hobbies…I have to see them all day I certainly don’t want to talk about them also…do not get me wrong I will make fun of them here and there; however, this is not a Holly Hobbie Blog…or a work Blog…it is a blog about me…and the fact that I am quickly coming to the realization that my life is an utter train wreck. Yeah I guess it is time to be honest with myself…my life is utterly fucked up…and readers…I think it is time we fix it!
Let me start by saying I hate people that whine and complain about how difficult their lives are and about how hard they work…this is probably one of the biggest reasons I keep my train wreck to myself…I am the only person that has had control over the wreckage of my life…I am the only one that let my life get this screwed…so why complain about it…I just need to fix it!! Having said that…I am not sure I am ready to let go of the wreckage which is probably another reason I have always kept my shit to myself.
Okay…if you are still reading and I really hope you are I should probably tell you a little bit about myself…and then the wreckage and…
Me:
- I am 35 years old yet I act 22
- I am divorced from a great guy – seriously he is a great guy…but he just was not fucked up enough for me
- I have 2 amazing children…one a teenager and one 8 year old – I am not sure how they became so amazing with me as a parent- it could possibly be because they feel like they are living in a bad lifetime movie and they are terrified to become anything like their bat shit crazy mother
- I have a Masters Degree in Information Technology that I busted my ass to get and I want absolutely nothing to do with it…I hate networking I hate IT work and I do not utilize my degree in anyway what so ever…at this point my degree is probably outdated and I don’t remember shit about it anyway
- I have 2 jobs – the full time job I am basically the bend over and take it bitch girl- I hate it…my 3 bosses…yep I said three- consist of – 1 fat holly hobbie, 1 trailer trash chick that wants everyone to think she let go of the ghetto in her, and 1 male that lives in the shadow of his “brilliant” wife…
- My part time job I waitress…and it brings me such pleasure to take shit from the three stooges all day and then go and deal with condescending pricks
- I hate the conservative life…I hate dressing like a broom is stuck in my ass
- I love tank tops and ripped jeans
- I am obsessed with telling my life story through art—on my body
- I am a sarcastic bitch that forgets to use the filter that others seem to rave about
- I believe the filter is an excuse to be fake
- I am attracted to trouble…you could line 100 guys up and have them wear a uniform in order to not give away their stereotype and I will choose the only one that is a biker, has tattoos, and definitely is on parole and to complete the package they will be down and out broke
- I have zero self esteem—however I have been told I am pretty cute…I am 5’2 and 105 pounds…and I look about 8 years younger then I am…on a good day
Okay so that is me in a nutshell…there are more parts to me but you will learn them over time if you continue to take this journey to no clue yet with me!
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