This morning I went through my normal routine of hitting the snooze button repeatedly...I hate my alarm clock...I also hate people that say "oh I have no problem waking up...I never use the snooze button"...I feel the appropriate response to this is "fuck off"...
No morning would be complete without a trip to WaWa for some more coffee...this trip is slightly irritating as with all the corporate robots and Hollie Hobbies...its funny I keep hearing how "bath salts" will turn you into a zombie...I say full time corporate work does this...
In order to prepare myself for another glazed over day with the Holly Hobbies I decided to put on a country concert on my way to work...I was an amazing rock star while in my car...and I find this to be very relaxing and entertaining...it appears that during this mornings typical traffic jam I also entertained my fellow travelers...it was my pleasure...
There is a good amount of work on my desk...that I do not exactly feel like accomplishing for no other reason then I believe the more I work the more brain cells I loose...I will get to it...but I have a the theory that the longer I wait the more the pressure builds and the faster it will get done...the faster it gets done the less brain cells I fry in order to earn what the organization calls a paycheck!
So here we sit my friends...yesterday I was taking inventory of the train wreck of my life...I can not say that this process did anything to improve my outlook on life or my sarcastic bitter mood I have developed over the last few years…
Most days I enjoy my bitchy self…I am well area of the fact I may offend others with my pleasantries…but that is not really my problem…
My daughter told me last night that she dislikes people…and at first I began the motherly speech that went something like this:
“Oh sweetheart don’t say that…most people are kind and…”
Then I stopped…it dawned on me…actually it smacked me in the face how many lies parents tell their children on a daily basis…so I decided to be honest with her and said..
“Yeah I get that…people can be annoying…choose the ones you like, stick with them…and stay away from the others”…
Of course then I couldn’t turn my brain off…for the most part I am generally honest with my kids…I do not believe in sugar coating things…my kids know this about me…they know I am blunt as hell…and again have no filter…
So I began examining the lies I was told and the lies I watch others tell their children…
Lie that children are told
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What we should be saying
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There is a little good in everyone you just have to look for deeper in others
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BULLSHIT- no everyone has good in them and if you have to search for it move on and stop associating with them
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I am sure they meant well
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CRAP- if whatever they were doing had good intentions behind it we would not be having this conversation
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You can do anything you put your mind to
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Ehh NO- this is why we have the pleasure of watching dumbasses audition for shows like American Idol – there is just some shit you are not good at…move on and do what you are good at and don’t torture you or us any longer
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I support you no matter what decision you make
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Crock of SHIT – I support you as long as you make the decision that I told you was right one to make
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They are just jealous of you
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FALSE – they just do not like you...accept it and move on
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I just feel so bad for their family
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Horseshit – I am just so damn grateful it was their kid that got caught and not mine
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There is no reason for such extravagant things
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HAA- We are broke as shit
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No good ever came from revenge
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BULL – Don’t break the law and don’t let them find out it was you…it will be worth it
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Anything that you can not do before midnight you should not be doing at all
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NOT TRUE – I want to go to sleep and you coming in all hours of the night disturbs me…plus anything you are doing after midnight I did and I miss it
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People lie…it is the cold hard truth…people lie to cover up their true feelings…parents lie to make not only their kids lives easier but their lives as well…people lie to get ahead…and some people just lie to lie…
The word filter for many is spelt L-I-E for me!!!
So part of my journey to no clue yet will be to continue not using my filter…to continue to be honest with others…and when I know it is inappropriate, such as when Fat Holly asked me this morning if her dress looked ok and I wanted to say “Actually you look like a cartoon hippopotamus squeezed into a t-shirt” , I politely smiled and said “wow it really matches your bracelet” NO LIES…however….I used a self serving filter….I was far from worried about her feelings…I was only worried about lack of job security!!!!
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